Last post I talked a little about my SAHM job/profession and how I have been able to make it quite enjoyable this time around (round #2). There was a time when I felt like I had chosen to be home bound and bored. Don't get me wrong, there is a ton to do, but it can get repetitive and lack the mental challenge that is sometimes needed to motivate me to continue on. I have a quite a few outlets that help me feel like a grown up this time.
My network consists of past coworkers, other mom's I have met during my kids events, and my gym rat associates. Most mom's have a similar (slight variances) avenues of potential networks to build from. The key here is that all relationships have potential,if YOU put in the effort. Put your self out there and invite someone over. You all can chat while the kids play. Go for a girls night, even if the budget it tight, walk around target and look at all the goodies with no kids in tow and finish up with a cup of coffee. Get in shape together, whether it is a group fitness class or getting together for a stroll. What is most important is the adult interaction and conversation.
There are also options for the one car families. One idea is to tag along with a friend a few times a month. I am sure that it can be humbling to ask a friend and fellow SAHM however I promise you the other mom will be so happy you asked, I know I would be. It is a chance to bond and you can return the favor in watching her kiddos for a few hours. Along with that the Internet is a glorious and remarkable avenue to keep in touch and reach out to like minded people. Blogs, like this one :), allow you to peak into the minds of other moms, and they let you comment (neat O). I have heard of many many friendships that start right here in blog land. Sherri from YHL and Katie from Bower Power did just that and are now besties (long distance).
You can also join a gym, while this activity is not free they often offer free childcare during the time you are working out. You can use this time to work out rigorously, clearing your mind and cleansing the sole. You can meet a friend and walk leisurely and chit chat kid free. Or you can take the fitness classes and have access to even more potential SAHM friends.
The SAHM blues are very contagious, but there is an antidote. Create your network and work at keeping it in place. Stay in touch with your new found friends and don't wait for them to ask you to hang out. I encourage you to put yourself out there.
Showing posts with label Stay At Home Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stay At Home Mom. Show all posts
January 20, 2013
January 15, 2013
Keeping the SAHM BLUES away
Yep, I have been home again, for a year, well almost on the 18th. And boy have we been busy, little Sy and I. My full time and 24/7 job is being a Stay At Home Mom, but we are far from home bound. I avoid the term, and feeling of being stuck in the house like the plague. It is a disease that can bring you down, literally you can easily turn the awesome opportunity of caring for your family into a very depressing situation. Here is how I keep away the SAHM blues.
We do tons and it does not all revolve around Sy's needs and wants. I learned the hard way the first time I was home, it is easy to lose yourself in your children's life and the needs of your home. This is actually something that working parents do also, get caught up in keeping the house running and get burned out. Not in the cards for the SAHM!
What I do have looming over me though (shoot many of us) is that we are on a single income and a serious budget. If I had unlimited funds at my disposal I doubt this would even be a topic that crossed my mind, but my family like many other SAHM's are far from the unlimited funds category.
So how do I over come such insurmountable (pardon my dramatics) obstacles? We work our network of friends (both Sy and I), we utilize our community resources, and last we stay home sometimes BY CHOICE!
I look at home making as a profession, just like those who work out of the home. As a SAHM it is easy to pull a 12/18 hour shift without realizing it. While it is commendable, it is just asking for burn out. On top of that more often than not many of my fellow professionals (I like calling us professionals) don't treat our non-traditional job as a "Profession". Just doing that will ease much of the pain. When our job is done without the same gusto you would have if you were being paid by some one else then the job it just drags on (hello 18 hour days).
Mys suggestion is to create a schedule, you can follow it loosely, make a meal plan (easier to stick to a budget), and build in rest time (breaks and lunches are a mandatory government regulation). You will be happier, especially with the last suggestion.
Below is my schedule, which I follow very loosely. But I am a professional and I show my family this by my commitment to them and myself. I lead by example and hold my team (I am the Chief Home Officer) accountable. Everyone plays a role in keeping this ship running and it starts with me.
This schedule holds me accountable and makes sure that I get down time. Most importantly is this is a Monday through Friday schedule. I do complete light cleaning on the weekend, but my job description (written by me) shows that I am off on Saturday and Sunday and I treat it as such. Just like any other professional, I care for my family, feed them and I might (strong might) wash clothes. But because during my work week I work with purpose, I get to enjoy my family on the weekend.
It is important to know that any profession change, whether that is traditional job, having your first baby, or adding a new baby to an existing family, there is going to an adjustment period and at various stages you will just be plain overwhelmed. That is so normal we have all been there.
For me my friends help me keep my sanity, working out is my therapy, and getting fresh air reminds me what life is about. These things are my safety net and catch me when I am down.
 |
| Free time while mommy cooks |
We do tons and it does not all revolve around Sy's needs and wants. I learned the hard way the first time I was home, it is easy to lose yourself in your children's life and the needs of your home. This is actually something that working parents do also, get caught up in keeping the house running and get burned out. Not in the cards for the SAHM!
What I do have looming over me though (shoot many of us) is that we are on a single income and a serious budget. If I had unlimited funds at my disposal I doubt this would even be a topic that crossed my mind, but my family like many other SAHM's are far from the unlimited funds category.
 |
| Library craft (done wrong) Fun times |
So how do I over come such insurmountable (pardon my dramatics) obstacles? We work our network of friends (both Sy and I), we utilize our community resources, and last we stay home sometimes BY CHOICE!
I look at home making as a profession, just like those who work out of the home. As a SAHM it is easy to pull a 12/18 hour shift without realizing it. While it is commendable, it is just asking for burn out. On top of that more often than not many of my fellow professionals (I like calling us professionals) don't treat our non-traditional job as a "Profession". Just doing that will ease much of the pain. When our job is done without the same gusto you would have if you were being paid by some one else then the job it just drags on (hello 18 hour days).
Mys suggestion is to create a schedule, you can follow it loosely, make a meal plan (easier to stick to a budget), and build in rest time (breaks and lunches are a mandatory government regulation). You will be happier, especially with the last suggestion.
Below is my schedule, which I follow very loosely. But I am a professional and I show my family this by my commitment to them and myself. I lead by example and hold my team (I am the Chief Home Officer) accountable. Everyone plays a role in keeping this ship running and it starts with me.
6:20 am - Shower get dressed for next activity
6:40 am - Wake up all children (including those not in school)
Monitor morning hygiene/School preparations
6:50 am - Breakfast, most morning is a fend for your self activity
7:15 am - Big kids ride with dad to school
Make beds, gather laundry, clean kitchen (Symone indulges in a PBS)
8:00 am - Gym (Mon, Wed, Friday) Sticky Fingers Craft time (Symone Tue)
Meal Planning, Budgeting, Grocery shopping (Thur)
10:00 am -Free time - TV, Coffee, Blog hop, blog, stalk Facebook
Library Story and Craft (FREE) - Meet friends and chat while kiddos play
(one day a week chosen by who can meet me)
11:00 am - Lunch for BOTH of us/Clean up
12:00 pm - Sy naps and for the first hour I get laundry going and any other deep cleaning items
done and dinner started (most days). Something different every day.
The last hour is my FREE time!!!
2:30-4pm - Go get the big boys from school (school is in a different town)
4:00 pm - Homework, everyone gets homework, even Sy, and pre K Lawson. It might be coloring
but it keeps them busy as I help their brothers and finish dinner.
5:00 pm - Free time for kids (play outside, tv, friends over etc.). I get the table set
and the dishwasher empty.
6 - 6:30 pm - Sit down dinner
6:30 - 7 pm -Clean up time - KITCHEN CLOSED
Older boys clean the kitchen then take showers/I give little ones bath (FREE TIME)
Catch up with hubby, call friends and family
8:30 - 9 pm - All kids in bed
9 - 11pm - Watch TV Shows I am addicted to (Recorded)
11pm - Lights out (at least I try)
This schedule holds me accountable and makes sure that I get down time. Most importantly is this is a Monday through Friday schedule. I do complete light cleaning on the weekend, but my job description (written by me) shows that I am off on Saturday and Sunday and I treat it as such. Just like any other professional, I care for my family, feed them and I might (strong might) wash clothes. But because during my work week I work with purpose, I get to enjoy my family on the weekend.
It is important to know that any profession change, whether that is traditional job, having your first baby, or adding a new baby to an existing family, there is going to an adjustment period and at various stages you will just be plain overwhelmed. That is so normal we have all been there.
For me my friends help me keep my sanity, working out is my therapy, and getting fresh air reminds me what life is about. These things are my safety net and catch me when I am down.
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